Overpass
by Foxfire1417
Summary: The Ultimate Yu Yu Hakusho parody! Randomly insane stuff happens when Hiei and Kurama teach at a school for extra money! It's even got a weird principal... You can't miss this!
1. English, Ren, Ki, Poison!

It was early in the morning and Ren was walking to school. It's not like she wanted to go or anything, but Ki had told her yesterday that if she didn't show up, Ki would force her to read KuramaXHiei lemons all night. Ren shuddered at the thought.

"Why do you want me to go to school _today?_" she asked, her crimson eyes brimming with rage. Ki smiled evily.

"We have a couple of new teachers today because _somebody _thought it was cute to poison the teacher's apple."

"They had it comming to them." Ren smirked at the memory. One apple had killed two teachers.

"I can still make you read those lemons." Ki growled, an insane look in her leaf-colored eyes.

Ren quickly shut up.

Ren figeted around in her desk, which was on the front row thanks to Ki...and the stupid seating chart. Conviently, the two girls were sitting right next to each other.

"I HATE ENGLISH!" she shouted, earning odd looks from her fellow classmates and a murderous glare from her best friend. In this lighting Ki's blonde hair looked like it was washed in blood, but it always looked that way. _ That hair always creeps me out. How does she do that? She must be some freak of nature. I've heard of people with two toned hair, but her hair is two colors at once! It's physically impossible. _Ren sent silent thanks to Heaven that her hair was solid black.

Suddenly, the door opened and an eraser plopped on the head of the person who walked in. Another glare from Ki. Ren just laughed.

"Good morning class." Said the teacher, trying to rub the giant white spot from his scarlet hair. "My name is Mr. Kurama Minamino and I will be your new English teacher today...forever." Ren stared. The way he said that in such an optimistic, yet creepy way was really getting to her. Most teachers would lose it if they were hit in the head with an eraser, which was one of the main reasons Ren did it. This teacher...he was...so HAPPY?!

The chalk squeaked against the board. Why the teacher was writing in Japanese, Ren would never know. It was a good thing Ki raised her hand and alerted the teacher.

"Yes, Miss..." he paused and looked at the attendance sheet. "...Kayama?"

"Sir, this is America. The mother language of which is English." she explained.

Kurama looked at the board.

"Sorry. Any way, I'll tell you what it says. It says, 'List three types of punctuation marks.' Let's see, who wants to answer this?" he stopped for a minute. No one raised their hands. he looked at the attendance sheet again. "Miss Underwood!" he announced, after randomly picking out a name.

Ren's head shot up. She had been dozing through the class, but at the sound of her name she instantly snapped out of her trance.

"Yes, Mr. Macaroni?" Kurama stared. Maybe randomly picking out someone wasn't a good idea.

"Please list three types of punctuation marks." Ren was silent, as if deep in thought.

"Periotic Table, Camel, Quest for marbles." she stated confidently. Kurama just stared again. Ki slapped herself in the forehead and muttered something under her breath.

"I'm sorry. That is incorrect." he sighed. Ren growled and fished around in her pocket. Kurama was scared. Ren pulled out an unusually bright red apple.

"Here, teacher." She tried to mask the dark tone from her voice, but failed horribly. Kurama took the apple and was about to take a bite when Ki exploded in a burst of random emotion.

"Don't eat that apple!!!" she exclaimed, jumping from her desk and barreling into Kurama with unessary force. He didn't stand a chance. The apple skidded across the room and out the door, screaming something about freedom. Ren scowled and muttered something about unfair advantages. Ki got to her feet.

"That's how she killed the last couple of teachers." she explained in a bright manner. Kurama was at a loss for words.

"Okay, moving on..." he said.

Outside, the apple was runnign along, happy as a clam. His plan to take over the world was in motion. Now to gather the rest of his poison bretheren. Next stop, Canada. The apple laughed evily as he went to the nearest grocery store.

Kurama was never so happy in his life as when he heard the bell ring. The rest of the class had been just like the first five minutes. Miss Underwood was trying to kill him and Miss Kayama kept barreling into him. He rubbed his side sorely. The most reasent tackle had involed a collision with his desk. Kurama sighed and plucked a poison dart from the chalk board.

Ren was so mad she made several people tremble with fear as she walked past. Only Ki and a few random emos seemed uneffected.

"Where now?" Ren asked rudely.

"History!" Ki smiled. Ren shuddered. They were having a new teacher in that class too and she was out of apples.

The apple held a gun to the clerk's head

"Give me all your apples!" he said. The clerk blushed, thinking he ment something else. Annoyed, the apple fired the gun and took the three bags of apples conviently siting next to him. "I am unstoppable!" he shouted, standing in a puddle of blood. "TO CANADA!!!"

(A/N: ) Ren: That was nuts! This is only the first chapter in our twisted fantasy about what would happen if Hiei and Kurama were teachers at our school.

Ki: Hiei's going to be a History teacher and the apple's sad angsty journey to Canada. Stick around!


	2. History, Bananas, Razzamatazz!

Once again, Ren was sitting in the front row. She hated the seating chart with a passion. Once again, Ki was conveintly sitting next to her, all the while muttering death threats.

"I swear, Ren, if you try that again, you will have wished you ate that apple you tried to give to Mr. Minamino!" Ren just rolled her eyes. She hated History...even more than English. Suddenly, Ren felt something tap on her shoulder. On instinct, she elbowed the person behind her. Ki was waving her hands frantically with an alarmed look on her face.

"What?" said Ren.

"You almost broke that poor little boy's ribs!!! What would the teacher have said if he had just walked in?" Ki spazzed.

"He'd probably congradulate--"

"_Congradulate." _

"Whatever, he'd just probably thank me for putting another student out of his misery." The boy in question walked around so that he faced Ren.

"I am the teacher." he growled. Ren started to laugh. Ki's reaction was quite similar.

"Yeah right. Go back to kindergarten, little boy. Hey, Ki, maybe the new History teacher got hit by a car or found my apple or something."

The apple was at a popular karoke bar in Washington D.C. Sure, he could have taken the White House by storm, but Canada was a much more attractive option. He decided to take a little break from world domination and have a little fun with his apple bretheren. He hopped up on the counter, only to find a very beautiful banana with a peel that looked as if it was spun from the finest gold in the land.

"I...I...I'M THE APPLE!" he shouted nervously. The banana turned around.

"Hello, Mr. the apple. My name is Mary-Sue the banana." she said in an angelic voice.

"I'm heaing twords Canada to take over the world." the apple stated.

"Meeee tooo..." The banana's voice was so attractive. The apple could feel himself drooling. "...would you like to join me and my banana sisters?"

"Yes, I'd love you...I mean to!?"

"I am the teacher!" the boy insisted. This had been going on for about 15 minutes.

"Prove it." said Ren, her eyes narrowed.

"Fine, watch and be amazed." The boy walked over to the board and wrote. 'My name is Mr. Hiei.' in big letters. Ren and the zombie class oohed and ahhhed. Ki just stared, horrified. She had laughed at a teacher. _This is not good, _she worried.

"Our lesson today is..." Hiei paused and looked at the text book. "...wars! Lots and lots of wars. Blood, death, suffering!!!!" his eyes glinted with pleasure.

"Gore!!! Don't forget the gore! Just like in the Razzamatazz War of 1975!" Ren added.

"Yes, the first war between the English and the Americans. Those stupid hippies had it comming to them!" the teacher stood on the desk, so that he could be heard by the world. Ki was freaking out. She had never heard of the Razzamatazz war. How could the first war between the English and the Americans be in the 70's? It just didn't make sense. However, the most shoking thing was that Ren hadn't threatened a teacher for ten whole minutes. In fact, Ki was begining to suspect that her friend _liked_ this new teacher. She turned back to the eerie conversation that was going on in the front.

"Yes, the American team was called, 'The Disco Dudes!' We had the most deadly wepons on Earth. Afros, platform shoes, and that finger pointing thing by John Travolta!" Ren was clearly getting into the moment.

"But don't forget the English! They were called, 'The Hippie Men!' Their peace, love, and tree-hugging didn't stand a chance against our mighty afros of power!!!" the teacher shouted.

"Wait!!" Ki screamed. Ren and Hiei paused. Just then, the bell rang. Ki stared again. They had been talking about the Razzamatazz war for thirty minutes.

That night, the two girls were sitting on Ren's front porch.

"I can't believe it, but I'm actually looking forward to school tomorrow!" exclaimed Ren, who was hanging upside down from the porch. Ki faintly noticed how much Ren resembled Mr. Hiei in that position. _That's crazy. _she thought, shaking her head.

(A/N:) Ren:Oooh! Suspense!!

Ki: That is why Hippies and Disco Dudes don't mix. The zombie class is just the rest of the unimportant kids that are in our classes. Think of them as props.

(The Razzamatazz War never really happened. shifty eyes We ment no disrespect to the Hippies, Americans, Disco Dudes, English, or Hiei in the making of this chapter.)


	3. Language Confusion

(A/N:) Ren: **Bold Japanese talk **

Ki: **_Bold Italic Romanian_**

Ren smiled evily as she walked into Mr. Minamino's classroom with Ki right on her heels.

"Muahahah! I can't wait to see how I'm going to kill him today." Ren practiced her little disco point from the Razzamatazz War.

"What, no apple?" Ki asked. Ren sighed.

"No, I wonder what happened to the little guy..."

The apple stood on the edge of the highway, right next to Mary-Sue the banana, her sisters, and his apple brethren. A car zoomed by, scaring the daylights out of said apple.

"Are you sure this is safe?" He asked Mary-Sue.

"They wouldn't dare run me over. I'm too perfect for their cars." as she spoke her peel glittered in the sunlight, as if to emphasize her words.

"Okay." said the apple and they all jumped into the road.

Kurama was nervous. Miss Underwood was back from where ever she goes at night. _Hell. _he decided mentally as Ren walked in and thumped him on the back, sending him nose-first into his coffee. He had just made that a minte ago, so it was very hot. His screams could be heard as far as Siberia. Ren laughed. Ki grabbed the coffee and dumped it on Ren's head. Ren's screams could be heard all the way to China.

"Lemons...lots of lemons." Ki growled, dragging her friend to the appropriate desk. Ren's shrieks intenseified. Kurama rubbed his nose and began writing on the board again. Don't worry, this time it was in English.

**"You stupid man. We don't understand English!" **Ren shouted in perfect Japanese. Kurama looked generally confused. A few seconds ago Ren was cussing in perfect English.

**"This is America, the mother language of which is Japanese." **Ki stated. Kurama started to freak out.

"What?! You said you only understood English yesterday!!" Ren and Ki gave him questioning looks while pulling out Japanese comic books. **"ARGH!!! YOU SAID THAT YOU ONLY UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH YESTERDAY!!!"**

"Isn't he crazy?" Ren asked Ki.

"Yeah, he actually thinks we understand Japanese!"

**"YOU'RE READING JAPANESE COMIC BOOKS! In class, I might add."**

"Shh! It's the best part." Said Ki. Kurama looked at the comic books. The covers were in English. Kurama started to foam at the mouth.

"OFFICE, NOW. **OFFICE NOW!!" **

**_"Dosen't this man know we're Romainian?"_** Said Ren.

**_"vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay." _**Ren and Ki sang at the same time as if to proove their point. Kurama growled and grabbed them both by their ears.

**_"Get that foam away from me, you perverted old fart!" _**Ren shouted as foam dripped onto her shoulder.

The principal looked at Ren and Ki. He knew both Japanese and Romanian, so this should not be a problem.

**_"Why are you two in my office? Well, Ren's always in my office, but Ki...why?! How could you!"_ **Soap oprea music suddenly started to play from the background.

**"_That wierd teacher started shouting Englih at us! I don't know English! I'm Romainian...from Japan." _**Ren stated through fake tears.

**_"Yeah, he was ganging up on us with his crazy English words." _**Ki cried. Kurama, who also understood Romanian, opened his mouth to speak. The principal held up his hand.

**_"Talk to the hand, Minamino." _**the principal said in a disturbingly girly voice. Kurama just looked shocked. The soap oprea music came to a finale and then just stopped. The Principal turned to the girls with a gentle look in his eyes. **_"Girls, you are off the hook. You're not in any trouble whatsoever. Im fact, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" _**Ren had an evil look in her crimson eyes.

**_"One hundred spankings and every detention I've recieved in the past three hours." _**Ren said, holding up ten fingers. Kurama didn't say anything; he had lost. He couldn't believe it. Two thirteen-year-olds had outsmarted him. He took his spankings with unnatural grace, but at the end he cried like a little girl. Ki finally came to her senses and looked around the office.

"Where am--" Ren suddenly covered her mouth.

**_"Keep quiet. The teacher's getting spankings." _** Ki passed out, dreaming of the apple.

The apple cried bitterly. Four of his apple bretheren had been smashed by a hummer. What was worse, Mary-Sue had a boyfriend. (Kuwabara to be exact.) Now he had to win her back. He felt like killing himself. ANGST. ANGST. ANGST. ANGST. ANGST.

(A/N:) Ren: ANGST. ANGST. ANGST. ANGSTY ANGSTY ANGST!!!!

Ki: Shut up with the ANGST! Here I am, once again explaining the technical stuff. I have a split personality which happens to be an insane lunatic. I normally pass out when I return to normal, but it's all good. Be sure to read chapter four, Part two of Hiei's history class. WHAT IS THE RAZZAMATAZZ WAR?!!


	4. Voodoo dolls, using Kurama, medication!

Ren sat in her desk, surprisingly quiet. Ki was still unconsious, but luckily Ren had drug her into the class and propped her up in a desk. Ki's eyes suddenly snapped open.

"Where am I?" she demanded. "And why do I feel like I've been talking in Romanian for the past hour?" Ren inwardly laughed.

"One word: Schitzo." Ren explained. "And we had alot of fun together. We got Mr. Minamino in trouble" she added brightly. Ki started to freak out. _Schitzo hadn't even had the decency to transform. She used my body to be mean to a teacher! _Ren laughed again.

"What's so funny?" asked a random voice. Ren freaked out and bonked the owner of the random voice on the head with a very heavy History book.

"You're supposed to be a prop!" she growled, thinking it was one of the zombie class. It wasn't.

"That was the second time I've been hit by you, girl!" Hiei exclaimed angerly. "What is your name any way?" he added.

"My name is Ren! Why don't you just look at the stupid attendance sheet, _teacher_?" she spat the last word out, as if angered by the fact the Hiei was a teacher.

"Because I didn't want to, baka!" Hiei snapped.

"How dare you call me a baka, you...you...baka!" she fired back. Ki sighed, she had finally cleared her mind. She had let her guard down once and she didn't want her schitzophrenic personality to come back any time soon.

_"Come on, you know you want to let me out." _Ki suddenly heard in the back of her head.

"GO AWAY!" Ki shouted, throwing her hands in the air. Ren stared. Hiei stared. That outburst seemed to have shut them both up.

"Ki, are you feeling okay?" Ren questioned nervously. Ki frantically waved her hands back and forth.

"I do not need medication." she growled calmy. Hiei looked at Ren.

"Does this happen often?" he asked.

"She's just having a fight with Schitzo, normally she can keep her other personality under controll, but something seems to have made her snap." Ren explained as if it was the most normally thing in the world. "I blame you! You gave my best friend a mental illness!" Ren exclaimed in terror as she jumped on her desk and pointed at Hiei like he was some sort of mouse. Hiei stared.

"How could I cause this?! Schitzophrenia takes years to build up." Hiei was clearly frustrated at this point.

"You must be from the future!" Ren cried, randomly pulling out a Hiei voodoo doll.

"Where on Earth did you get that, crazy woman!?" he questioned.

"I made it last night." she calmly replyed, stabbing a needle into one of Hiei doll's eyes. He immediatly grabbed his right eye in pain.

"What magic is this?" he growled. Ren glared at him insanely and threw the doll across the room. It hit the chalkboard with a muffled thump. "What are y--" Hiei started to say, but was cut off when he found himself flying through the air. He crashed through the wall and landed in a heap on the floor of Kurama's classroom. Kurama raised an eyebrow. Meanwhile Ren had retrieved her voodoo doll. She held the doll up to her face and whispered something.

"Kurama, marry me!" Hiei randomly shouted. Of course, this must have been what Ren had whispered to the doll. Ki paniked. This was not good. She'd need to make a distraction.

"No, he's mine!" Ki yelled, spazztically throwing herself through the hole in the wall and knocking Kurama to the ground. Soap oprea music from some where in the back of Hiei's classroom began to play. Disgusted with herself, Ki quickly pecked Kurama on the cheek and put neon plastic ring on Kurama's left ringfinger."And you can't have him!" She began to stroke Kurama's hair and found it quite soft. She stroked it faster. She wondered how he got it to be so wonderfully soft.

"Would you please stop petting me. Am I some sort of cat?" Kurama's words cut off Ki's thoughts.

Embarassed, she realeased his hair. Kurama looked at Hiei. Then he looked at Ki. Then he looked at Hiei again. And it went on like that until...the soap oprea music grew louder and Ren's head popped through the hole. She was holding a large boombox which was playing the soap oprea music at an alarmigly high level.

"What'd I miss?" Ren asked brightly. Glares from her best friend and those two teachers were her only respose.

"I'm sorry Mr. Minamino, but I could never love you. I was using you. You were nothing but a distraction." Ki said dramatically. Ren randomly pulled out a thing of popcorn and started shoveling it into her mouth.

"This is so cool!" she said between bites. Kurama was ignoring both of them and trying desperately to get the ring off his finger. It was cutting off the circulation and making his finger turn a nasty shade of purple, which clashed horribly with his hair.

"THIS IS CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION AND MAKING MY FINGER TURN A NASTY SHADE OF PURPLE, WHICH CLASHES HORRIBLY WITH MY HAIR!!!" he shouted. Ren reached into her pocket and pulled out a big butcher's knife.

"I can fix that." she stated. As soon as the butcher's knife was out of her pocket a doll flopped to the ground. Ki glared at Ren.

"What have you done this time?" she demanded.

"You know how I made that Hiei doll? Well, I made a Kurama one too!" Ren picked up the doll. Suddenly the Hiei doll magically appears next to Ki. Ki kicked it, forgetting what would happen if she did anything to a voodoo doll. It went flying into Ren's arms and shortly afterward Hiei collided with Ren. "AAAAAAAAAAAAk!!!" Ren screamed as shee fell to the ground. She took out a needle and began to stab the real Hiei in his bandana.

"What are you doing, crazy lady?!" Hiei tryed to shield his forehead with his hands, but only got stabbed there as well.

"Call me Ren, you baka!" Ren exclaimed angerly, reaching for her butcher's knife. "You had some sort of brain surgery, didn't you!? I'm gonna' slice open that noggin of yours and find out what they did to you! I bet you're some sort of ex-psychopath...wait...That's a slam on my society! I do not need medication!" she rambled.

"Me niether!" Ki broke in.

"Let's go burn our medication!" Ren declared with a wild look in her crimson eyes.

"Yeah, let's do it!" Ki agreed, with an equally wild look in her leaf-colored eyes. Apparentally Schitzo had regained a bit of controll. Ren and Ki ran off screaming about the evils of medication.

"Shouldn't we get em' for ditching school?" Hiei asked, rubbing his forehead. Kurama stopped tugging at the ring for a moment.

"Don't make them come back!!!" he exclaimed fearfully.

_Later that day... _

The apple stood by a pile of ashes outside the local McDonalds. They smelled strongly of medication. Why he had traveled from California to The District of Columbia and back to California again was a mystery to him and his apple bretheren. He sighed and hoped that one day Mary Sue would return. For now he set off tword that magical northern place called Canada.

_Inside McDonalds... _

Ren was silently munching on a burger. She was in awe that the medication exploded once she set a lighter to it. Sure, half of her face was singed, but she could take care of that later with some duct tape. Ki happily sipped on a milkshake, no longer burdened with the fact that she'd have to take medication. She never took it anyway, but it was still nice for it to be gone. She was also glad that Ren had been the one to start the fire. The whole right side of Ren was solid black from the explosion. She had gotten very odd looks when she walked into the McDonalds. She looked out the window and saw Mr. Minamino and Mr. Hiei walking twords the McDonalds, Hiei waving his hands in the air and patting his bloody bandana. Ki grabbed Ren by the wrist and pulled her into the lady's bathroom.

"What are you doing!?" Ren demanded.

"The teachers are here. We don't want to cause them any more trouble." she replyed. Ren pulled out a small envelope.

"Aww...but I wanted to give this to Mr. Minamino." she complained. Ki eyed the envelope.

"What did you put in it?"

"Anthrax" was the mumbled reply. Ki inwardly screamed and rolled her eyes.

"Okay." Besides, she relly wanted another chance to barrel into Kurama. Ren smiled evilly and walked out the door twords Kurama.

(A/N:) Ren TODAY I WANT TO SHOUT AT YOU IN CAPS LOCK. I LIKE SHOUTING IN PEOPLE'S HEADS. IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL.

Ki: Good bye medication! That's a load off my mind, plus I got a milkshake! And Ren's half-cooked. She deserves it. Really.


	5. Plot holes, machete, evil oprah

_Kurama's point of view..._

Kurama was munching on some fries when he saw a half-singed Ren walking twords him with a small envelope in her hands.

"Wendy, here she come again!" Hiei shot Kurama a look.

"My name is not Wendy." he growled

"Shut up, Wendy! Here she comes again!" Kurama exclaimed. Ren arrived at the table, followed closely by Ki.

"Hi Mr. Macarana! Hi Wendy." Ren said. Ren handed Kurama the envelope, snickering evilly. Kurama slowly started opening the flap. Ki rammed into him, making him collide with a trash can.

"What did you do that for?!" Kurama shouted.

"That envelope had Anthrax in it!"

Meanwhile Hiei and Ren were having a fight about something.

"My name is not Wendy!" Hiei screamed

"If your name isn't Wendy then why do you have you hair styled in those idiotic braids!?" Ren exclaimed, while holding up a picture of the Wendy's girl taped to a mirror.

"Oh. My. GOSH! You're right! My name has been a lie."

"I told you I was right, _Wendy. " _

"That's Mr. Wendy to you! No it's not. It's not Wendy. What is my name!?" Hiei looked down at the name tag he was wearing. It said, 'Wendy.' "That's not correct. I must go on a search for my name!"

"Oprah stole it!" Ren supplyed

"Oprah would never do such things!" Kurama snapped, his eyes full of righteous fury.

"I bet you she did!" Hiei screamed.

"Oprah brainwashed Mr. Marachino! Let's go get her together!" Ren suggested.

"Oh no you don't." Ki grabbed Ren by the ear. "We should have never burnt your medication! Don't make me get the happy shot. I saved one for an emergency and this is clearly that emergency!"

"Nooooo, not the happy shot!" Ren randomly pulled a cane out of her pocket of wonders and began to whack Ki in the head with it. Ki fell to the ground and Ren and Hiei darted out of the McDonalds.

The manager of McDonalds walked over to Ki.

"Is that lady really going to hurt Oprah?" he asked.

"Not if we can stop her!" Kurama said, mysteriously holding up two T-shirts that say, 'I love Oprah.' He slipped on and gave the other to Ki. Ki put her shirt on as well. Amazingly, it fit her perfectly.

"Where'd you find that?" she asked.

"Under our table. It's amazing that there perfectly clean. What a plot hole! Anyway, to the Oprah Mobile! " he answered

_Meanwhile. _

Hiei and Ren were driving in a Rent Way truck. Hiei had X-ed out the words, 'Rent Way' and wrote, 'The Hiei Mobile' in permanent marker. Black of course. They were presently driving twords Chicago.

"What if Mr. Mamasita tries to follow us?" Ren asked.

"Oprah will be dead by the time they get to Chicago." he said darkly. "Do you still have your butcher's knife?"

"Yeah, I also have a hacksaw, a hatchet, and a machete. The machete is mine!" she said before Hiei could even open his mouth. They were both wearing black T-shirts that said, 'Oprah, your head is mine!' Where would they get such shirts, you ask? Hot Topic of course.

"Can I have the hatchet?" Hiei asked.

"I thought you wanted the butcher's knife."

"No need for that." he grabbed the butcher's knife and hurled it out the window where it smashed through the window of the car behind them and stuck in the driver's head. The car veered off the road and collided with a gas tank, causing an explosion that could be seen for miles.

_Meanwhile... _(again)

"They're close." Ki said, knowing that only Ren could cause an explosion that big.

"Don't talk that distracts the driver!" Kurama said

"I'll distract you all I want!" Ki made a grab for the wheel.

"Watch out for the gas tank!!!"

"Don't worry, I avoided it!"

"..." Kurama started to say something, but he had the sudden feeling that he had just been called a Mamasita. He blushed.

"Why am I holding the wheel!?" Ki panicked. "What happened? How could you let a 13-year-old drive? Why am I talking? Doesn't talking distract the driver!?"

Kurama rolled his eyes and grabbed the wheel of fortune that had replaced the steering wheel. He spun it and it landed on. 'Turn Right.' He turned right. He spun it again and it landed on, 'Turn Left.' He turned left. He spun it again. This time it landed on, 'You have won a thousand bucks. Good luck, buddy.' Suddenly hundreds of deer started attacking the car.

_Back to Ren and Hiei..._

"Why did all those deer suddenly run past our car?"

"Who cares? Oprah must die for stealing my name!"

"Shouldn't she also die for brain-washing Mr. Machete?" Ren said, while petting her own Machete.

"Whatever."

"Look! We're in Chicago! Right next to her studio, too!"

"Let's get her! My name shall be mine again!"

"Your name's Oprah?"

"Noooo!!!!! She has my name in her pocket!"

"Your name's pocket?"

"Oh forget it! Let's just get her!"

_Back to Ki and Kurama..._

Ki and Kurama were for some random reason at a restaurant that plays the Oprah channel all the time. Right now they were watching a live feed of Oprah sitting in a chair, talking to Tom Cruise.

"Let's invite our next guest!" Oprah said in her usually peppy voice.

"We don't have any more guests." A strange man who was operating a camer said, twitching.

"I volenteer!!!" Came the distant voice of Ren.

"Oh...no." Ki said. "Mr. Minamino! You've got to see this!" Kurama came running.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Watch." was the reply. Kurama turned back to the Televison only to see Ren and Hiei flying twords Oprah with Hiei screaming, "Give me my name!" Suddenly Oprah got this evil smirk on her face.

"I shall never give you your names!"

"Names? You stole more, crazy lady?" Oprah held out a piece of paper with Ren's name on it.

"MY NAME!" Ren shouted. "GIVE ME IT YOU (censored for enjoyment) LADY!!!" The word lady clearly did not fit with the words Ren was trying to make. Hiei suddenly grabbed out a thing of rope and tied Oprah up. Then they ran off and hopped into the Hiei Mobile, dragging Oprah with them.

_The Apple _

The Apple was finally in Canada. It had taken a while and he had lost many apple bretheren, but it was worth it. He would soon take over the world.

(A/N:) Ren: "..." (Ren's in shock because her name has been stolen.)

Ki: " I wonder what other names Oprah has stolen. I hope you enjoyed the chapter on crack..."

Hiei: "Every chapter's on crack."

Kurama: "Noooo, Oprah can't be evil! I won't accept it!"

The apple: "What's with you people? I want a bigger part."

Schitzo: "Oprah better not have my name."

Ki: You stay out of this! I thought getting rid of the medication that was supposed to get rid of you would make you go away!"

Ren: "Nooooo, Schitzo is my best friend!"

Ki: "I thought I was your best friend."

Ren: "I only like you for your Schitzo."


	6. Valley girls, cat fight, Yusuke?, Wee!

_Hiei and Ren ..._

"Maybe Oprah will suffocate, huh Wendy?" Ren said.

"My name is not Wendy!" Hiei screamed.

"Yes it is!" Ren exclaimed.

"No it's not, I have proof!" Hiei shouted while waving the paper with his name on it. Ren took the peice of paper and tore it in half. Hiei went _poof_ and vanished!

"Who's gonna' drive?" Ren spazzed. Quickly she pulled out a peice of paper and wrote Wendy on it. Hiei appeared.

"Let me see that!" He exclaimed. Ren handed him the paper. Hiei grabbed a bottle of white-out and erased Wendy, then, wrote Hiei before disappearing.

_Because of the crazy demand made by the apple, we will give him a bigger part. ENJOY! _

(A/N: Ren: where did we leave off with the apple?

Ki:...

Ren: Nevermind, I figured it out myself.)

The apple had just possed the leader of Canada. _How did he do that_? you may ask. It is a simple trick that all apples know. He simply made the guy eat him, thus killing him and leaving the body free for the apple to inhabit. The leader of Canada was a three-year-old. But it was still a start. Then he sees Mary-Sue kissing Kuwabara on one of Canada's highest cliffs.

"What are you doing, Mary?" he asked desperately.

"I'm making out with this stud muffin over here." came the muffled reply. Kuwabara went to lift his head. "Don't move, Hunkalicouis!" she commanded. The apple cried.

_Now to Ki and Kurama... _

"We were too late!!!!" they shouted in unison.

"Oprah's in the hands of evil!" Kurama sobbed.

"But Oprah IS evil! She took Hiei's name as you just saw on THE OPRAH CHANNEL!" Ki growled.

"Oprah is NOT EVIL!" Kurama yelled as he slammed Ki to the ground. The two promptly started to cat fight.

_Back to Hiei and Ren..._

Ren rubbed her head.

"What's wrong, Ren?" Hiei asked.

"My cat fight sense is tingeling." Ren muttered. Hiei stared.

"Cat fight sense?"

"Yeah, you baka, a cat fight sense! It means that either two girls, two gay guys, or a girl and a gay guy are fighting! Although, the guy could just look like a girl..." Ren trailed off in thought. There were so many possibilites. Of course, two straight guys fighting were out of the picture. And a straight guy that looks like a guy was out too. But what about a girl that looks like a guy??? A gay GIRL was out. _ Hm.. maybe Ki and Kurama were fighting._ She thought.

"Ren, why on Earth are you thinking like that?" Hiei asked. Ren shrugged.

"Hey, Wendy, what did you do to Oprah?"

"I threw her into the back. And I'M NOT WENDY!!!" Suddenly, Ki and Kurama flopped onto the windsheild. They were pulling each other's hair and what not, so Ren did the only thing she could do. She pulled on a refferee suit and hopped onto the windsheild as well.

_So sorry to interupt this beautiful moment, but the apple DID_ _demand a bigger part..._

"Hunkalicouis?" the apple cried and gasped at the same time (which is very difficult for an apple!).

"Yes I am a hunk!" said Kuwabara in an Arnold Swartszerteniger voice. He was wearing shades.

"Why Mary, why??!" apple said in a very dramatic voice!

_A-hem, back to Hiei and Ren..._

Ren sat in her desk, rubbing her sore arms. The cat fight had been very bloody, and very loud. Most of the shouts involved Kurama shouting, "No! My hair! Not my perfect hair!!!!!" She turned to see Kurama, Hiei, and Ki each sitting in their own desks. Ren and Ki had gotten detention because they had skipped school, and Hiei and Kurama had gotten detention because they had let them escape.

"Oh, well, it was worth it to see Oprah get tied up." Ren said.

"Whatever happened to her anyways?" Kurama asked. Hiei and Ren cleared their throats nervously.

"It's better you didn't know, Fox." Hiei said. Ren turned around to see a disturbed looking girl with brown-ish blonde hair and ice-blue eyes.

"Who are you?" Ren asked.

"I'm Aushi." The girl replied.

"What're you in for?"

"I was trying to make out with the new gym teacher, and he was letting me. He seemed to enjoy it..." Ki glared at Ren.

"Did you do any thing to the old gym teacher?" she demanded .

"No!" Ren exclaimed. Ki intensified her glare of doom. "Okay, I _might_ have put poison in his punch."

"That is it!!" Ki screamed. "You. Me.HieiXKurama lemons. All weekend." Hiei and Kurama gulped.

"Don't worry." Ki said, "We're _reading_ them." Hiei and Kurama let out sighs of releif. The door burst open and the new gym teacher walked in, chewing a peice of bubble gum.

"He stole that from me." Aushi whispered to Ki, who tried not to pass out at the thought.

"Hey, my name's like... Yuske. I will be your new detention watcher guy... thingy. Do watever you want, keep the killing to a minimum, and Aushi, can I see you behind my desk?" the gym teacher listed.

"Omigod...It's like... it's like...YUSKE!" Kurama squealed, clearly dilusional from the bloodloss he suffered in the recent cat fight. Suddenly, Aushi's shoes and Yuske's shirt come flying and land with a spluck on Ren's head.

"Ahhh!!! It burns." Ren shouted, instantly making the connection, plus Yuske's shirt smelled of Axe and Old Spice.

"Aushi!" Ki exclaimed.

"Ki!" Yuske shouted.

"Ren!" Hiei growled.

"Yuske!" Aushi said in a delighted voice.

"Hiei!" Ren said, coughing from the Axe fumes.

"Like, Kurama!!! Weeee!!!" Kurama squealed.

"Weeeeeee!" Hiei responded, clearly suffering from the Axe fumes.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ren shouted at the top of her lungs.

"WEEEE rhymes with Ki...and Aushi too." Ki said thougtfully. At the sound of her name, Aushi stumbled out from behind the desk, looking for her shoes.

"I'm going to be late for class." she said, flopping to the ground.

"...But school's...over..." Ren said her last words faintly, before passing out.

"Like...I'm an...airplane...Pthlbbb. Mayday..." Kurama fell to the floor. "Boom."

Thus ends the tragic tale of Overpass.

THE END

(A/N:) Ren: HEY!!! It's not OVER!! Stupid keyboard, I swear, it has a mind of it's own.

Aushi: "I'm the new author! I have finally entered the world of anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Join me in my battle cry for Yu-" she was cut off by Ki.

Ki: "It's my turn! None of that Aushi, none of-" she was cut off by Kurama.

Kurama: "Weeee-" he was cut off by Ren shoving him out of the author's note.

Ren: "You are not an author! That's all the time we have for today. Thank you, and remember, I DO NOT NEED MEDACATION.


	7. Hunkalicious and the hospital

Yuske's head poked out of the desk.

"Aushi? ...Where'd you go?" he got an odd smile on his face. "Oh, I get it. You're playing hide and seek. Here I coooome." he said in a sing-song voice. He found Aushi laying next to the other passed out bodies of Ren, Kurama (who is still slightly awake, singing the word 'weeee' to himself.), Ki, and Hiei (who is no longer Wendy). "What have I done!?" he leaned over Aushi and started to gently shake her. Suddenly, the door opened and the principal walked in.

"Yuske, what are you doing?" the principal's voice was girly, as always.

"Uhh...they...were like this when I came in here! Yeah, let's go with that." Yuske answered. "I'll fake my way through this...just like I did in high school." he added to himself.

"Like weeeee. I'm a submarine now. This is Captain Nemo on the S. S. Dori. We've been like attacked by a giant squid thingy. There's like no hope we're like going down. Like weeee..." Kurama said very dramatically, then _finally _fainted. Ren's eyes opened a little bit and she propped herself up on her elbows, laughing uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" the principal asked. Ren laughed again.

"Hiei's pants are on fire..." she answered. And in fact, they were. The principal stalked off saying, "Yuske, you handle this! I'm going to go try on a tutu...and I have a cat fight scheduled at five with Michelangelo..." he kept rambling as he walked down the hall.

_At the local hospital... _

Hiei woke up first. His pants smelled like they were on fire. Yuske hadn't bothered to put out the fire.

"My pants are on fire." he stated.

"Shut up, I have more important matters to attend to." Yuske answered, looking down at Aushi.

Ki woke up smelling smoke and urine. "Hiei, are your pants on fire? And Ren, I thought you were house broken."

"Oh, we're on the railroad now. PUT MORE COAL IN THAT FIRE! Ah, bandits!" Kurama scramed as he fell from the bed. There was a thump, then Kurama said, "Ahh! A hobo!" as he looked at Yuske's feet. "Smelly hobo feet!"

"Do not comment on his feet." Aushi stated, suddenly waking up. Ren was the only one asleep, but not for long.

"Hobo, where? Jakey-Jake, I'm hoooome!" Ren shouted.

"Jakey-Jake? Where?" Ki exclaimed. Ren then looked over at Kurama.

"Are you okay, Mr. Monalisa?" she asked. Kurama didn't respond, then suddenly an odd look came across his face.

"I've got to go tinkle." apparentally when Kurama was dilusional he acted like a five-year-old, but a very cool five-year-old with awesome hair. He grabbed an imaginary rope and stood up. "I'm on the subway! EAT FRESH!!!! Agggk, rats! And a blind man with a dog! And that lady's pants are on fire! Put out your pants, granny! I've got to tell Hiei about this..." he rambled as he walked to the bathroom.

_Later that day... _

The nurse was wheeling Kurama down the hall to the cafeteria in a wheelchair. This would turn out to be a bad decision.

"Vroom...vroom! I'm a racecar driver!" he exclaimed. Hiei was having a rough time walking, seeing as he now had second-degree burns.

"Can you help me out here, Yuske?" he asked, very sweetly in comparison to his normal attitude.

"YOU ARE SOOOO SELFISH! CAN YOU NOT SEE!? I AM CARRYING AUSHI!" he shouted.

"Yuske, where are you?...Aushi can fly! She's a birdie! Hi birdie!" Kurama started waving. Little did he know that Ren was recording the whole thing and had been since the first outburst. Ren turned to face Ki.

"And you think _I _need a happy shot?" Ren asked. Ki just shrugged. At the word 'happy shot' Kurama snapped out of his 'trance.'

"What happened?...Where am I? Why do I have the feeling I've used the word tinkle? Aushi, you can't fly!...Why did I think Aushi could fly?" Ren quickly shut off the camera and shoved it back in her pocket of wonders.

"Well, Mr. _Minamino, _did you enjoy being a racecar driver?" Ki asked nervously.

"Yeah, Mr. _Maracca, _did you ever escape those bandits?" Ren added, then looked at Yuske and Aushi. "TeacherXstudent, TeacherXstudent, TeacherXstudent!!!"

"What on Earth are you two talking about?" Ren walked over to Kurama with a small DVD player.

"This will explain things." she started the recording. "There's you shortly after the cat fight. There's you with the axe. There's you after the axe. There's you in the hospital. There's you going to _tinkle. _And there's you as a racecar driver." And so it went until the whole video was shown. The whole thing was expertly set up, with fake backgrounds, crappy special effects, and even credits at the end.

"I did that?" Kurama asked, shocked. Everybody around him nodded. Kurama looked over at Hiei. "Your pants are on fire." he pointed out.

"Thanks." Hiei growled. "Can someone please put them out? Yuske..."

"Shut up, selfish man! Aushi needs to be comfortable first you twerp. Think about others." Yuske replyed.

"There's a support group for that." Kurama said.

"Hello, my pants are on fire!"

"There's a support group for that too."

_For the sake of the readers, we will pull the curtian of charity over the cafeteria scene. It's basicly about Hiei complaining about his pants and Kurama rambeling on about support groups. Let's pick up at gym class, shall we?_

"I HATE gym class!" Ren sreamed, while curling up into a ball at the top of the bleachers.

"There's a support group for that. By the way, I must get back to my zombie class before they start wanting brains again." Kurama randomly said, then left.

_And over in the Hiei section of this story..._

Hiei stood in the middle of a group of people.

"My name is Hiei, and I have a problem."

"Go on, you can say it." said the leader of the group.

"My pants are on fire." Hiei said.

"Hello, Hiei." The group said in a monotone.

_Now to appease the apple,_

they were at the scene of the 'hunkalicouis moment'. Mary-Sue had just stated that Kuwabara was a stud-muffin. The apple was highly dissapointed even though they had achieved his main 'achievment', he decided to kill Kuwabara and win Mary-Sue's heart. Kuwabara approached him very slowly. Then all of a sudden he pulled a gun and tried to shoot the apple but the apple dodged.

"Darn apple!" Kuwabara stated as he missed very, very badly. Then the apple pulled out his stolen rose-whip and slapped Kuwabara's ugly face just to make it uglier.

"Ha take that you evil insaneaside baka!" At that moment Mary came running to her stud-muffin's side and said..."Your'e not hunkalicouis any more, you weirdo. The apple is my new flipsidehommieGyopancakeskilletbuiscuityo!" she yelled, out of breath.

(A/N:) Ren: "I might use that for black mail later. PUT MORE COAL ON THAT FIRE!"

Aushi: "Yuske is so cute!!!" (she repeats this over and over and over again)

Ki: "I need a bigger part in the next chapter!"


	8. Stalking, Squirrels, Backstreet Boys!

(A/N:) Ki: Be sure to read the Backstreet Boy's songs to the tune of 'I Want it That Way.'

Yusuke climbed to the top of the bleachers in a desperate attempt to get Ren down. He offered his hand, but she slapped it away.

"Hiss!!!" she said, "Hiss!!!" Ki was hiding in a corner.

"You'll never get me to take that class again!" she growled in a feral way.

"How about you, Aushi? Maybe we could do a special training session after class." the gym teacher winked. Aushi looked at him and nodded her head with eyes that would make Kurama go 'Awww.' If he had been there...that is.

"TeacherXstudent, teacherxstudent, teacher- Hey, I found pre-chewed gum! How old is this gum? Who cares?!" a few seconds later there was a crunch. "I just lost three teeth." Ren complained.

"Noooooooooo! I don't have insurance!" Yusuke wailed. More crunching could be heard.

"I can finally afford dentures! The tooth fairy will owe me big time!"

_At the support group... _

"So, Mr. Hiei...is it true that your pants are on fire?" the leader of the support group asked with narrowed eyes.

"Let me think about that...YES!" Hiei growled.

"And does it...buuuuurn?"

"Heck, yeah!"

"Gasp," was all that the group had to say.

"No...way."

Suddenly, Aushi's shoes and Yusuke's shirt came flying across the room and hit Hiei in the back of the head. Did we mention the support group was in a roped-off section of the gym?

"What is with the shoes and the shirt?!" Ren had finally dared to get out from behind the bleachers.

"I think it has something to do with-" Ki started, but was quickly cut off by Hiei's frequent coughing.

"-And that's one of the many reasons I don't like gym class..." Ki finshed. How unusual. The entire middle of Ki's speech had been censored...er...blocked out...er...interrupted! Let's go with that one! The bell rang and gym was over and dissapointed 'awwws' from behind the bleachers. Ki got up from her corner and ran out the door, determined to stalk Mr. Minamino for some reason (probably to tackle him yet again). Ren sprinted after Hiei, with the intention of putting out the raging pants of fire. Aushi was running from Yusuke. Both were giggling like little girls...well, Yusuke's was more of a manly chuckle.

_In the forest..._

Hiei was silently walking along, looking for a tree to hop into. Suddenly, a huge gush of water, heading strait for his butt came shooting out of a bush. It hit it's mark and he went sailing ten feet in the air, due to unessary pressure.

"Sorry, I don't know how to work that yet!" came a voice from a bush. Ren suddenly heard shrieking from the highest part of the hollow. Hiei flew out, along with rabid squirrels, who were attacking his butt. Only his butt. He landed with a thump.

"I will have my revenge on all of you!" he shouted, shaking his fist.

_Meanwhile, with Ki and Mr. Minamino..._

Kurama suddenly got the feeling that he was being stalked. That and the feeling that someone had just called him Mr. Marco Polo. _Ren... _he decided, after running a list of names through his head. Little did he know that a certain student of his was following him. Can you guess who? A twig snapped. Kurama whipped around, but was too late. Ki tackled him and took his picture (she was on the yearbook committee, despite the fact that their school had no yearbook. She was trying to win it back! Well, they never had one, but she wanted one. Ramble Ramble Ramble Ramble Ramble...and that's why popular guys pick their noses, but let's not get into that)

"Ki?! You are failing my class, just like Miss Underwood and Miss Aushi!"

"Call me Ren..."

"I have a last name...even though I don't remember it...but I know I have one!" Distant voices chimed.

Suddenly the Backstreet Boys attacked. They were all wearing green, even though one was allergic.

"Drop your pink and join us Kurama... Your railroad thing was miraculous!"

They started to sing.

_"Drop your pink and join us...because we want you that way_

_So you can be gay-" _

"It. Is. MA-GEN-TA!!! And I am NOT GAY!!!" Kurama growled as he tackled them all to the ground and started beating them senseless.

_"Stoooop hittting my face...and you are too gay." _They sang in unison as if they had rehearsed it. They probably had. Their manager can be very strict.

"Stop, you know what happens when you get angry!" Ki stated before he could do any more damage.

"What?" he suddenly stopped.

"Your hair turns a fiery shade of blue, you foam at the mouth, your fingernails extend and turn a cool shade of red, and then... you get very, very, VERY buff armpits!"

"That ruined the moment!" Ren's distant voice sang. The backstreet boys ran away in fear.

"We are above armpits!" they shouted as they fled.

"You were making that up, weren't you?" Kurama asked Ki.

"Well, you do kind of foam at the mouth when you yell at Ren and I kinda' went from that." She answerd.

_Yusuke and Aushi..._

Yusuke and Aushi were running for their lives. The Backstreet Boys and a band of drum-playing squirrels were after them. Aushi tripped on a root and went sliding randomly down hill. She hit a cliff and went soaring into the air. The wind changed and blew her directly into the window of Yusuke's apartment and landing on the couch.

_"_That was odd." she thought out loud.

"Yeah, wasn't I just running from the Backstreet Boys with you?" Yusuke said, from where he was also sitting on the couch.

"Whatever."

(A/N:) Ren: "Reffering to the ramble, if you have to ask by now, you really shouldn't be reading this."

Ki: "Don't tell them not to read!!! It'll take our ratings down! "

Aushi: "I was attacked by squirrels...with their little teeth and bushy tails...mocking me."

Kurama: "There's a support group for that."


	9. Escape from crazy jail, wi, girly names!

_The next day in History class..._

"Okay, so there were these people called the Spanish. They supposedly discovered Florida. The only reason I say 'supposedly' is because all of the people who went there _died._ Oh, well, let's talk about something more cheery! Let's talk about the Black Plauge!" Hiei smiled evily. No one was paying attention today, because Ren and Ki were focusing their attention on Aushi, who's mind was wandering off somewhere with Yusuke.

"Aushi. _Aushi_, snap out of it!!" Ren said while thumping Aushi on the back.

"Yusuke, give me some rest. I got a leg cramp from being behind the bleacheres!" she mumbeled.

"Aushi Tyler, you snap out of it right now!" Ki said.

"Huh?? Why is Ren hitting me?" Hiei came over to their desks.

"That's enough with the talk. All three of you are getting detention! Oh, Kurama's on duty today..."

_We pity the apple. We totally forgot the apple last chapter. But that dosen't mean we'll treat him specailly._

The apple's life was complete. He had taken over Canada, won the heart of Mary-Sue, and killed a pug-ugly former hunkalicious studmuffin thingy. The apple turned to Mary-Sue.

"So, I was thinking that we take over Chile..." The apple said.

"Yes. It would be...perfect." The apple gave Mary-Sue a paper crown.

"We shall rule the world together, my queen!"

"Enough chitty-chat. TO CHILE!!!"

_And now we will take you to the epic adventures of Ren, Aushi, and Ki in DETENTION!!_

Ki was in detention. Kurama was nervously pacing around his desk, slowly wearing a hole into the ground. _Oh, no. Why did I even volunteer to do detention? I should know by now that Ren gets at least five a day._ Suddenly, a zombie Oprah crashed in through the window.

"Names, NAMES!" she said while reaching for the slip of paper that was conviently hanging out of everyone's shirt pockets. They all started a kung fu battle that lasted for twenty five minutes until the principal and Hiei burst through the door.

"What is going on?" he demanded.

"Oprah burst in through the window! She was a total zombie!" Kurama shouted. Yuskue walked in.

"Hey, guys, did I just hear Oprah talk? Oh, hi Aushi." Aushi waved happily.

"That's it!" the principal said, "Everyone in this room except me is going to the happy home! "

"What?" Said everyone.

"You heard me. GO." Hiei, Kurama, Yuskue, Ki, Ren, and Aushi sulked off to the 'Alcatraz Happy Home' that was right across the street. Ren had sent her Kindergarten teacher there.

-----------------

Hiei was surrounded by white fluffyness. Every time he moved -oh no his nose itched! And he was in a strait-jacket.

"Is that you, Hiei?" Ki asked, her vision still a bit blurry from the previous tranquilizer. Schitzo took over and struggled so hard that there was no other option for the poor medical staff.

"Darn...This is such a drag. I wanted my own room." Hiei complained.

_Meanwhile... _

"Where's the bathroom?" Ren asked the only other occupant of her padded room...Yusuke.

"I don't know!" he replyed in a frustrated tone.

"What're you kids doin' in here!?" a senile guard walked through the door. He was walking a salamander the size of a komodo dragon on a leash. Ren just stared.

"Auuuushiiiii...where are you?!" he called through the now open door, not even thinking to run out it. Maybe he should be here.

"I'm surrounded!" the guard shouted, slamming his hand on the danger alarm and assuming a crash position.

_Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. Dunt. _

_Meanwhile..._

"Do I hear an alarm?" Aushi asked the other occupant of her room, which was a very high Kurama.

"Tranquilizers are fun." he responed with swirly eyes.

"Weeeeee!! You've got that right." Ki's voice somehow managed to go through the wall.

"Ki! Ki, can you hear me?" Aushi was now hopefull.

"..." Ki started to answer, but was cut off by a loud thump. The guard had somehow managed to get tangled in his over-sized pants (that were now comming up to his shoulders) and was rolling across the cushiony floor. Lucy, his faithful salamander, was running after him, thinking it a game.

"My pants are eating me!" he called as he went bouncing strait into Ren's room.

Ren put her foot on his chest and proudly proclaimed, "I have conquered the only guard in this place! Fear me!" there was an insane look in her eyes as she bound the poor guard with a lengeth of rope.

Then all the 'mental patients' ran into one giant padded room. Which luckily had a raft in it. The bad news was the door slammed shut once they were all inside. Hiei was mad. Kurama was high. Ki was feeling weird feelings...maybe she was a little high too.

"What do they put in those tranquilizers?!" Ren demanded.

"Axe!" the guard answered.

"Luckily, I did not struggle." Yusuke said, feeling smart. He and Aushi had managed to avoid the tranquilizer together.

"Let's try and blast a hole in the wall!" Ren supplyed eagerly.

"Yeah!" Everyone agreed in unison.

"We'll each have to blast a different hole. Only the weak are left behind!" Ki added. Everyone nodded and set to work.

Yusuke tryed to blast a hole in the wall with his spirit gun, but it bounced off the rubbery wall of doom. Aushi held up a mirror.

"Try this!" she suggested. Yusuke tryed and it worked, bouncing off the mirror and hitting the wall with great force. It exploded open and he jumped out, dragging the raft with him.

Kurama was leaning against the wall, trying to act all cool and such, when the wall suddenly ripped out from under him and he fell outside. "Weeeeee!" he exclaimed in joy. Then he puzzled. But that puzzled feeling didn't last long, for he soon felt an odd pain in his behind. "Rose-whip." he mumbled, pulling the thorny wepon out of his flesh. "My back pocket is not the smartest place to keep such things." he decided.

Next was Aushi and Yusuke was cheering her along all the way. She suddenly grabbed her hair clippie, which sometimes penetrated her scalp, and put a bit of her spirit energy into her clip. A giant ball of energy shot out, barely missing her head, but somehow going right through the wall.

"Aushi...you've done it!" Came a proud voice from the other side of the wall.

Now it was Ki's turn. She stopped and thought about the situation for a moment. _Aha! _ She pulled a stiff pine needle from behind her ear and threw it at the wall. It hit, but it broke in half. She'd have to try her next wepon, the leaf sword. Ki pulled a mint leaf from its hiding place in her jacket sleeve's cuff and it transformed into a sword with a green-tinted blade. "Hi-ya!" she growled, hitting the wall with all her force. She bounced off. Ki was mad. Her section of the wall seemed to be tougher. There was only hope left and it seemed suicidal, but she must break though the wall.

"Schitzo...come out and play." she offered.

"You've never wanted me before. Why should I help you?" Schitzo asked.

"Because, I'll let you use your body for once." Ki pleaded.

"Keh, okay." Ki's features quickly changed. Her hair turned silver, but it still had its blood-red tint. Her eyes were now bright blue and she had ears and a tail.

"Free at last!" Schitzo cheered. Her excitement was so strong that it caused a mollecular explosion and the wall ripped to peices.

_They are so stupid. Why don't they just use the same hole? _Hiei looks at his watch. _Oh my gosh! It's almost time._ "Dragon of the Darkness Flame!...Hey, wait a minute. What's happening? The stupid dragon won't come out!" He started waving his arm frantically and the song 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shikara started to play in the background. Kurama started dancing and singing along, adding the word 'Like Weeeeee!' between each verse.

Ren slapped (Ki: slapped Ren: Whatever) herself in the forehead and suddenly grinned. "It's time for the Dodge to show off." (The dodge will be explained in later chapters) She shouted, "Cyber Dragon!!!" A huge electrical dragon shot through the wall and incinerated everything in its path. Kurama's hair was shaped into an afro due to all the static electricity.

_Now back to Hiei..._

"Get out here right now!" he demanded. The music suddenly stopped and was replaced by 'Thriller.'

"No, dear, I've become a pacifist." the dragon said with an oddly English accent. No one but Hiei could hear the dragon.

"Then make me happy and come out here!"

"Fine, fine, darling."

"That makes me feel gay."

"So you should!...Lovely."

"Stop calling me all these girly names!"

"Whatever, dearest."

"Stop assaulting me with your girly words!"

"...Sugar."

"Forget it!"

"Okay...honey."

Hiei ran out the hole Ren had just created, while shouting 'kaboom.'

"Wow, we made the same hole...Kitten!" Ren exclaimed.

Hiei pulled out his katana. "Don't call me girly names!"

"Okay, Butterfly Princess!"

"Let's just get on the rafte...(Ki: Ren, I'm gonna take that keyboard away from you! Ren: Fine, just kill me for being FANCE!!!)" Ki said, while bonking Ren on the head.

They all jumped in the rafte (Ki: REN! Ren: I'm being creativeey! Ki: You just butchered the French, dude) and traveled down river.

(A/N:) Ren: Muuuf! Muufu! Muffue ! (Ki had ducttaped Ren's mouth.)

Aushi: Muufue? Is that a word? Yusuke I love you!

Ki: Aushi, not you too! This is horrible! Auhhk, I did it! (foams at the mouth and falls over)


	10. Thanksgiving special!

Kurama was carsick, but wait. He was on a raft! Hmm, maybe he was seasick, but they're not in the ocean! Ah, we have it! He's Rensick. It's a common illness when you're around Ren for more than five minutes. Maybe he was going through Axe-withdrawl. He did the only thing he could! He searched around and grabbed the can of axe out of Yusuke's back pocket. He opened it and started inhaling the toxic gas. Ki stared. This was not normal. Her English teacher was getting high! She did the only thing she could do! She snatched the can away from Kurama.

"Hiss." he said and clawed at her.

"Hiss." Ren said and clawed at Kurama. She earned odd looks from everyone in the raft. "What? I didn't want to be left out." she explained. Ki sighed and went back to the present problem of Kurama's addiction.

"Hugs, not drugs!" Ki screeched, throwing the can into the water.

"MYNE!!!111!!" Kurama dived into the river. A few seconds later he popped back up. "Curses, I can't breathe underwater! But, that demon child can survive anything. Wait, that's a slam on my society! Wait, what do I call her? Satan spawn? Nah, too litteral. The devil's finger? Yeah, that's perfect! She'd be the middle one too." Ren heard Kurama and responded by flipping him off. Suddenly, Kurama realized he was still in the river...and they were leaving him! "Devil's finger, help!" Ren flipped him off yet again.

"Later, Mr. Magoo!" she said as the raft sped off at 100 miles an hour.

"This is the only way to get over your addiction!" Ki called.

"What does floating in the middle of a river have to do with getting over an addiction!?" Kurama demanded in rage.

"I don't know, but it sounded like a good idea at the moment! Watch out for the Taco Piranahs! They'll eat you, Taco! " she answered.

"My name's not Taco!" Suddenly, he heard the piranahs gaining on him.

"Taco, taco, taco!" they said. Taco swam for his life, but they could feel his lettuce falling out.

"I don't eat lettuce anyway!" Ki's distant voice interrupted.

"Hey, check out this hat!" Ren said, holding a pilgrim's hat in the air. "I think I'll call it Bobe' " Ren put Bobe' on her head. And the raft took off yet again. They were there long enough for Taco to read a small bumper sticker on the back of the raft. 'Hugs, not drugs." It said in flashy neon letters with a badly drawn picture of Ki's face next to it. Yet, another bumper sticker said, 'I am not the Devil's Fingers!'

Suddenly, Taco found himself on the shore. All the others were there too. Including Bobe'. "My name is not Taco!" Taco shouted.

"Fine, we'll call you _Kurama. _Gosh, Taco sounds so exotic." Ren said, while patting Bobe'.

It was then that Aushi noticed they were not alone. She turned to Hiei. "We're not alone." she said.

"I know, I just heard the narrators!" Hiei growled and threw her into a tree.

"Aushi, noooooo! Prepare to meet your end, demon!" Yuske set Hiei's pants on fire.

"Ahhhh! The wounds just closed up!" he started to do the 'mypantsareonfireomigoshlimpskilletbiscuititburnslikeahomigyoflipsideflapjackonthefire' dance, which involed lots of cursing and hopping around while saying the title of the dance.

"Cough-" the principal was cut off by Hiei.

"mypantsareonfire!"

"As I was say-"

"omigosjlimpskilletbisquit!"

"Ahem, would you cut-"

"Itburnslikeahomigyo!"

"Mr. Jagan-"

"flapjackonthefire!"

"Silen-"

"Fu- (The following has been censored with old lady jive.) This this dumb old egghead! I'm gonna' dirty your uniform. I'm gonna fix your wagon, sonny!" These words did not match with Hiei's mouth movements. Deaf people and other people who could read lips all over the world were shocked by the sheer volume of Hiei's cuss words vocabulary.

"Detention! You and your accomplices as well!"

"What did we do!?" everyone but Hiei, who was trying to find the button to shut off the old lady jive (which was still going whenever he talked, no matter what he was going to say) demanded.

"You always get dention! You should know that I hate you by now!" The principal shouted at Ren.

"You son of a- (the following statements have been censored by old lady jive) Egghead! I'm gonna' dirty your uniform. I'm gonna' fix your wagon, sonny!" It repeated over and over again until Ren finally stopped talking. Then she flopped to the ground, looking for the button as well. Some random old ladys (who couldn't read lips) started to cheer.

"You go get em' youngsters!"

The principal pointed at Ki. "You have two hair colors and you won't tell me where you got the die or the secret for having two colors at once!" he whined.

"Screw you, it's natural!" Ki growled.

The principal pointed at Kurama. "You, for wearing excessive bling bling."

Kurama stared. There was a giant golden taco around his neck. He also had brass knuckles that said 'tah' and 'coh.' He shrugged.

The principal points at Aushi. "You for being in a tree!"

Aushi glared at Hiei.

He pointed at Yusuke. "You for having illegal Axe in the state of California!"

Yusuke smiled. "It's illegal...I could make a fortune!"

The principal ignored the statement and took them all away in handcuffs.

"Bobe'! Don't handcuff Bobe'!" Ren cried.

"Hugs, not drugs!" Ki growled ferally and punched Yusuke.

"I need a hug." Hiei complained. The old lady jive had been turned off.

"Don't hit me. I'm telling Bobe'!" Yusuke cried.

"Kids, stop that right now!" Bobe' ordered.

"You can talk? You're a miracle!" Ren said.

"I don't know where I got the bling bling, I swear!" Kurama stated.

The principal threw a newspaper at him. There was a picture of someone with a plastic bag over their head, robbing a jewlry store. Ren's face was clearly visible through the plastic and she was wearing a name tag that said, 'Kurama Minamino.' Bobe' sat on top of her head.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later in detention they were all sitting around a large table. Excpet for the principal, who had been stuffed inside Ren's sock drawer. (Who stuffed him in there, you ask? Well, everyone did! Including Bobe'. Don't worry, he got back on top of Ren's head as soon as that was over.)

But instead of a turkey, there was a large fire extinguisher. Ren took a hatchet and chopped it in half, sending the goop everywhere excpet for Hiei's raging pants of fire. Suddenly, M. Jackson burst in thorugh the window with a half-dead turkey in his arms.

"It's the spirit of Thanksgiving, Taco Brown!" Ren said to Kurama. Everyone quickly killed M. Jackson and ate the turkey. It was a lovely Thanksgiving.

(A/N): Ren: And that is the truuuuue' story of Christmas, children!

Aushi: What is wrong with you!? It's Easter!

Ren: How dare you insult Jesus's Barmitzfah!?

Ki: Ahem, I believe it's Saint Patrick's Day!


	11. Underwear, Easter bunny, Perv army

All around the city, missing posters were posted. They clearly said in flashing neon script, 'Have you seen this hat!!!!!!!!!??? Rawr111!' It had a picture of Bobe'. Beside it was of the easter bunny. It said, 'Have you seen this bunny????!!!" Under it was a translation. It said, 'Hav u sen tis fing kool bune???!!!!" Another translation said, "Hola, mi bunny a buenos noches??!!!" Of course your wondering what this has to do with Overpass, right? NOTHING! We sooo owned you. I can't belive you fell for it. You probably think this is Ren typing... You're wrong. It's totally Ki, dude.

"Ki!!! you're not supposed to type that on the school's newsletter! That goes to the supervisor!" Kurama shouted.

"I've already sent out 7,502.3 Oh, and you got some weird E-mail about the easter bunny."

"What! I told him we were through! He should know to stop calling me. It was just one night, just one innocent night at his apartment! Besides, Hiei was paying me-"

"But sir, this is an E-mail, not a phone call."

"Oh, that's totally different. What did it say?"

"We have taken the easter bunny hostage. You have to give up 3,000.5 pez by midnight. And also your child support is late. Love, Ren."

"I have no idea who its from." Ki stated. "How about you, Kurama."

"No. Aushi?"

"Not a clue. Hiei?"

"How am I supposed to know? I just came in here three minutes ago."

"Hey, Kurama! Did you get my E-mail?" Ren asked, walking through the door.

"You took the easter bunny!?" Kurama asked.

"Yeah, and I'm going to help you find him because Hiei ditched me half-way though the process. What do you say Mr. Moltenlava?"

"Why would you help us look? You know where he is."

"I forgot. All I know is that it's somewhere at your house."

"How did you get in? I have to change my locks tomorrow."

"Your puny locks won't help. My dragon is not a gay wuss...LIKE SOME PEOPLE I COULD MENTION, BUT THAT WOULD BE REALLY IMPOLITE LIKE SHOUTING. I HATE PEOPLE WHO SHOUT. IT HURTS MY EARS!!!"

"Ki, why didn't you stop her? I know you spend your free time at my house!"

"I was busy with the newsletter. The Principal thinks I'll stay out of jail if I get a hobby. Plus it gives him something to read while he recovers from, oh what did he call it? Oh yeah, he called it: "My supercalifragilisticexpealidocious awesome wonderfull NOT gay, but still very sexy cat-fight with Michael Angelo." Then he sighed like a fangirl, which gave me the impression that he was indeed gay. What were we talking about?"

"Ki, you just started typing the newsletter 5 minutes ago!"

"Fine I'll tell the truth, but it'll embarass you infront of everyone here." Ki paused and Ren pulled out a video camera. "I was helping Bobe arrange your underwear like you told us to do last night!"

"I didn't tell you to do that!!!" Kurama's face turned the color of his hair.

"What does it say in this then!" Ki pulled out a large, pink, frilly book that said: "Kurama's Diary and List of My Greatest Fantasies." Ki quickly flipped to the list of his greatest fantasies. "It says, "What I wouldn't give to have a leathery hat and a sexy young woman organize my underwear together and record it on film to the theme song of mission impossible." She closed the book. Said entry was clearly written in Ki's hand writing.

"I've got the tape where's the main t.v. that connects to all the t.v.s in the school including the t.v. in the principal's hospital room where he's waiting with a full tub of popcorn and a large rootbeer?" Hiei paused, out of breath and then waved the tape in the air doing a strange impish victory dance.

"I've got the t.v.!" Aushi pulled a t.v out of her backpocket and connected it to a large plug in. Hiei put the tape in the vcr.

"Stop, No!" Kurama shouted, but it was too late he had already ductaped himself to a chair.

The tape started. Ki was wearing her swimsuit and had Bobe sitting on top of her head. "Mr. Minamino, I know this is the only one of your greatest dreams I could make true. The only other one in there involved Ren and a noose. Also, I think there was one about 11 hot american school boys, but I'd rather not go into that. Either way, start the music, Bobe!" Ki threw Bobe' at a stereo and it started to play the mission impossible music. Ki started to roll and dart around the room, holding an imaginary gun and throwing pairs of underwear like shurikan. They landed folded and in a neat pile in his top drawer right next to his socks. "Oh, there's one left." Ki gave an exaggerated sigh and suggestively bent over to retrieve a pair from under the bed.

"This is better than cable!" Ren shouted.

The retrieved underwear had pictures of Spongebob on them and also some very odd stains that Ki couldn't place. She put them in the drawer and the tape cut off.

"Ki, I didn't mean for you to try to seduce me by making a suggestive video!"

"I could sell this on the internet as porn!" Ren exclaimed.

"Wait til you see the next part." Ki winked.

"There's more?"

"Oh, no you don't!" Kurama broke free from the bonds he had placed on himself and grabbed the tape, destroying it in the prosess.

"It doesn't matter. We have it in manga form and it's already circling through the market. The title is: 'Kurama's Greatest Fantasies, Part One."

"Let me see!" Ren demanded. Ki pulled a copy of the book out of a dark hole in the air and gathered Hiei, Ren, and Aushi together with her. She turned the page.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked.

Ki turned the page again.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked

Ki turned the page again.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked

Ki turned the page again.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked

Ki turned the page again.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked

Ki turned the page again.

"Oh my." Hiei said.

"Woah..." Ren said.

"Cool!" Aushi squeaked

Kurama couldn't take it anymore, he had to see. He looked and what he saw was Bobe and a carrot doing...stuff. Yeah, kids shouldn't buy the book. Teens either. Adults too.

"Ren shut-up! You're bringing down our sales, our most powerful marketing is impressionable three year olds. They've already bought the action figures. Are you trying to foil my plans of making an army of super pervs?!!"

The door burst open and a shadowy figure imerged.

"No, I thought I killed you!" Ren exclaimed.

It was...To be continued.

(A/N):

Ren: You're trying to create an army of super pervs?! That was my idea, but mine would have had old men with walkers...and Jakey-Jake.

Ki: You don't know the half of it. I've already created one army."

Aushi: "What army is that?"

Ki: "Have you ever wondered why Yaoi is so popular?!"

Ren: "Yeah, I kind of have."

Ki: "I was behind the whole thing."

Kurama: "I'm shocked! Sweet, little Ki! What happened. I thought you were the only non-pervert in this world!"

Ren: "You're not calling yourself a perv, right Mr. Mercury?!"

Kurama: "Well, there was that one time-"

Producer of Overpass: "That's enough author's notes! Kurama's not even an author!"

The rev of a chainsaw was heard...along with Ren's promise to take care of the producer.

And now for our new feature, since our apple died. The smurfs used him for a house. Poor Mary-sue is a widow and divorcer!

_**Entries from Kurama's Diary. **_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today 11 Hot American school boys passed me by in the hall way. Note to self- add a new dream to my fantasy list. I also saw 11 hot American school girls, but I wasn't really interested. _

_-Kurama_


	12. Origins are revealed: The Maury show!

The figure creepily stepped through the door. It was...Seriously, who is that?

"We've got a large pepperoni right here!"

"Hey, I wanted anchovies!" Kurama shouted

"Mr. Mew, you're allergic to anchovies! Remember last time." Kurama winced at the memory of last time. The pizza guy stood there expectantly. He waited. He bided his time. He looked at his watch. He checked the sundial outside. He looked at the calender. He was wondering why he wasn't at home reading hentai right now.

"FORGET THIS!!!" he roared.

"STOP SHOUTING IT HURTS MY EARS!!!" Ren replyed. The pizza guy didn't reply. He pouted and opened the box.

"There's no pizza in here." Aushi obsereved.

"That's because I'm a Maury Secret AGENT. I even have my own ROBOT. Get in the BOX." The Overpass crew sighed and one by one allowed themselves to be forced into the box. It was dark. And stinky like anchovies. They were carried for hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades. Centuries. Milllenia. Until the end of time. Then the box opened. And they came face to face with...shag carpet?

"WELCOME TO THE MAURY SHOW!"

"the LIGHT it BURNS!" Hiei rolled out of the box and smaked into a fold-out chair. "OW my EYE!"

Maury shoved Aushi off the stage ("Wee!") and forced the other four into chairs.

"Forgive me for being rude, but what the heck are we doing here!?" Kurama asked.

"We've got the test results."

"Where am I?" Ki asked.

"We're on a strange alien planet with 70's carpet!" Ren stated, trying to get herself to believe the phrase as well.

"Schitzo, what have you done to me this time!?"

_You have your own personal perv army. _Schitzo answered.

"Does it involve Shonen Ai?" Ki asked. The audience stared at her, because of course, they could not hear Schitzo.

_A little bit with Bobbe and a carrot..._

"You could have at least gotten me something better than a naked carrot!" The audience was officially freaked out by this point. Maury cleared his throat.

"Hello, don't you want to know who's child you are?"

"I'm Jakey-Jake's child. Him and his army of hoes. Ren too."

"Well, don't you want to know which hoe you belong to?!"

"Don't we belong to all of them? They said they were each our mothers in a special way."

"I'll read the results anyway!"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Well, aren't you gonna' read them?"

"Ki, you're first. The test results are in and..."

"I flunked, didn't I!?" Ren interrupted.

"Ren, this is Ki's."

"Ki flunked, didn't she! I've been waiting for this day!"

"Okay, anyway...Kurama, you are the father!"

And Kurama was like: "What?"

"You're one of Jakey-Jake's hoes, Mr. Maracca?"

"That would make him the mother, you baka!" Hiei said, still under the chair.

"So? He can still be a hoe right, just a man hoe."

"Hello, I'm not done over here!" Maury shouted like an angry woman.

"Well, go ahead."

"The next test results are in. For Ren! Hiei, you are the father!"

"The father of who?" both Hiei and Ren said at the same time.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kurama asked, still in shock from his own discovery. _Great, now I have to pay two child supports. Curse you Easter Bunny! _

"Not really. Why isn't the baka telling us yet?! Who's the freakin' father of who?!"

Suddenly Yusuke burst through the door. "I object!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"This is no courthouse, baka! Wait, what's a court house? Isn't that the place they tried to take me after I set that house on fire?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you!? Hiei, you're Ren's dad!" Maury said.

Hiei suddenly leapt out from underneath his chair. He started throwing things left and right. Most of them hit Kurama. Then he started attacking the audience. Five minutes late the cops showed up and pumped him full of tranquilizers. Elephant tranquilizers. They took an extreamly long time to activate. The building was already on fire by the time he passed out. Poor Maury's building. What did he do to deserve this?

"Well, I guess since I'm a father now I'll have to throw out all those tapes in my tree." Hiei sounded disappointed.

"Are those the ones with the squirrels doing all those naughty things? I've seen them all...and I kinda' like 'em." Ren said.

"There's only one thing to do." Yusuke said. "To McDonalds!"

"Wait, who's my father!?" Aushi asked.

"You have no father!" Maury said darkly. Fire burned in his eyes and his head spun 360 degrees.

"We need the exorcist! For more than one reason!" Kurama got a fire extinguisher.

"Wait, what are we still doing inside a burning building!? We should leave Maury here to die!" Ki suggested.

Everyone agreed silently.

"Aww, does this mean I have to carry my dad all the way to McDonalds?" Ren asked.

"Well, he's your responsibility." Kurama said, matter-of-factly.

"You have to feed him and water...clean the cat-box...you know...all tha fhun dad stuff." That was Maury's last words. Everybody ran out of the building quickly. Then Ren ran back in after forgetting her Father, who's pants were on fire.

-----

At McDondalds...

"Dad, wake up! Jakey-Jake wants you in his office again. He says you forgot to give him his money. He's gonna beat you with his hobo pimp stick!" Ren quickly shut up, after realizing what she just said could be taken either way. She promptly poured her shake on the unconsious Hiei, miraculously putting out his pants.

Kurama looked over at Ki. "Well, I guess this isn't much different from before...considering the fact that you think you own my house."

"I don't think, I know. And since you're my dad...Can I have an allowance. At least a hundred dollars a day. I have expensive tastes."

"Hey, why don't I get allowance? You're a crappy father. I hate you. I'm running away to live with Jakey-Jake. He said he'd teach me how to be a pimp like him." Ren said in an odd monotone.

"Huh, what'd I miss? Wait, I'm your dad. I demand respect!"

"So what, you want me to call you Mr. Baka now?"

"Yes."

"I don't have to listen to you, baka!"

"Hey, that's Mr. Baka to you, punk!"

The owners of McDonals were frightened. They were sick of getting all these people from the Maury show. What was worse was the fact that Yusuke and Aushi were behind the counter doin' stuffs.

"Who are your parents anyway?" Yusuke asked Aushi.

"I don't remember. I remember is a big ball of green cabbage and then this farmer pulled me out of the ground."

"Oh."

(A/N):

Ren: Well, that was weird. On the bright side, though, I get to learn how to be a pimp!

Ki: You're serious about running away.

Ren: Yeah, I am. I mean, my dad's a crappy dad.

Ki: You'll feel better in the morning.

Aushi: Does Ren have a hang over?

_**Kurama's Diary **_

_Today I found out I was a father...again! Curse you Easter Bunny! I have to go hide my tapes. At least Ki hasn't seen them yet... I think. I really hope she hasn't seen the one about the school boys. Please, don't let her have seen the one about the school boys! Also, Hiei is looking for Ren. She really was serious about running away. He's checked every place but Jakey-Jakes, but she's no where to be found. Where could she be!? What scares me more is that Hiei is actually acting like a dad. He even set fire to his tapes, saying that he didn't like squirrels anyway since some insident involving a fire hose and Ren... You would have thought he would have blamed Ren, not the squirrels. It's also bad that he set the tapes on fire in my living room! Mom's going to be so mad at me!_

_**Revised by Ren and Ki**_

_Today I found out tha I was a fat...for the fifteenth time! _**BLEEP **_U THE ESTER BUNY! I'm gunna' go watch my tapes...with Key. She really like that won. HeA 's not looking for Rin he hates her because he refoosed to giv her allowence. He's acting nothin lik a dad. He says he blames for the skwhirrl inccident. Then he bot moor tapes. He's watching them in the living roooom wit mom. I'm gunna' jon them. WOOT! _


End file.
